Steve Jobs: "Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish"

So now the big speech has inspired you to take life to the limit, take the bull by the horns, enjoy the icing on the cake, find your pot of gold at the end of the rainbow... continue to insert inspirational cliche here.

You are seated in your university's football stadium the sun is slowly browning the top layer of your skin. The sunglasses over your eyes will leave raccoon-like paleness at the end of the day. You stand cross the stage and shake the dean's hand. Before you know it the ceremony is over, hats are tossed, and parties are everywhere.

The next morning you wake up in your apartment with no more classes to head off to... you stare at the posters taped to your walls. Jimi Hendrix is in black and white on his knees conjuring fire from his guitar, the top left corner is peeling away from the wall and is rolling into itself. The calendar next to your desk has X's leading up to the word graduation written in all caps across the May date. The rest of the calendar boxes are empty. It hasn't completely hit you yet, the idea that you are on your own. So you get up at noon, maybe one and lounge around with the stereo, maybe a video game or two, you drink another beer, and put off taking a shower. Your life still feels like an extended week off, maybe like spring break or Christmas vacation.

But after a week, after two, you start to wonder what you should do. You've been sleeping in till noon everyday. Until one day, the school calls you around 9am and says you have to sign a paper for your exit loans. You jump out of bed, shower, dress in clean clothes, and excitedly over to the financial aid department...they'll tell you what to do next.

When you get there, your paperwork is laid in front of you, a few explanations are thrown around about how to repay your loans. The ageless female office worker with a pink oversized wool sweater and deep side-pockets lets you know you can defer six months or if you are continuing on to grad school, military, or peace corps, you can also defer. She makes an "X" on the line, you sign and date it, and then she says, "That's it. Thanks for coming in." You stand up and walk toward the doorway, then turn around before leaving.

You search the tiny wrinkles by her eyes for direction, watch her thin lips for any signs of speech. Nothing. She isn't paying attention to you anymore, assuming you have left the room. She closes the folder. As she lifts it up, you catch a white sticker with your typed name and social security number in the upper right corner. She places the folder in alphabetical order inside of a box with hundreds, thousands of other names. You realize that now you are officially out of school.

"Have a question?" she asks as she turns back to the table noticing you still standing there.

"Uhm, no," you answer, "thanks," and walk out of the doorway wondering what you were thanking her for.

The walk back to your apartment is mechanical. You've walked it hundreds of times sober, drunk, or whatever. But this time the air has a chill and you start to notice things you hadn't before, the trees in full bloom, the grass growing out of the uneven crack in the sidewalk, someone sweeping the porch to a frathouse across the street. The bannister is covered in blue and red plastic cups. And you think to yourself, doesn't that saying go, wherever you go, there you are? You realize you don't know who you are or where you're going. You realize that you are alone and have big decisions to make...